22 Weeks; Can it be over now?

Almost every time there's a pregnant woman on TV they are glowing, happy, and there aren't any problems. But that's not how it's been, AT ALL. I'm constantly hormonal, I cry at dumb things, I have an extremely hard time getting comfortable, and I'm always tired. I want Adelynn to be fully developed, but PREGNANCY SUCKS! hahaha. I have multiple things to update on, so let's get started:

Adelynn is now almost 11 inches long and weighs almost a pound. So, she's the size of a spaghetti squash. Her eyebrows, lips, and eyelids are more prominent now, and her tooth buds are beginning to form. Her irises have formed too, but they lack pigment (I really hope she gets her daddy's eyes, because they are gorgeous). Inside Ady's belly, her pancreas is forming, and will produce essential hormones. Her skin is still covered in lanugo, and has deep wrinkles because she hasn't gained her layer of fat yet. Only 18 weeks left, it's hard to believe that I'm already over half-way done. Phew.

 

Okay. So next update. School.

 Well, I'll be officially withdrawing from St. Ambrose on Tuesday. Due to some complications with Adelynn, my doctor wants me to try to take things easier and not be as active in things that can cause stress, and going to school and working cause stress. But, I'm not quitting all together. I applied to Capella University, which uses an online forum. And I got accepted, I think. I got the email that said I had to do the online orientation (which I completed), but I haven't received my admissions offer yet. Fingers crossed it comes tomorrow. So what complications? Well, if you remember, over New Years, I was extremely sick. I had a virus, and I couldn't even keep liquid down. I lost 18 pounds over a 10 day period. The doctor wasn't extremely worried, she said I would just gain it back. Well, I never did. From week 5 to week 20 I lost 19.8 pounds. My amniotic fluid level is low as well, and if that continues there could be problems. So, I'm hoping everything gets better soon, Adelynn grows in my belly to be a healthy little one, and makes it to full term.

Last Update: Stress, Hormones, Hot Mess

I am just so frustrated. I'm tired of people that shouldn't be getting into mine and Aaron's business, getting into our business. I'm posting this blog so that people can see my journey and such, but that doesn't mean that people need to spread the news to others. I think everyone would better understand my point if they new who I was talking about, but I don't feel I should disclose that information. That gets a little more personal than I would like my blog to get. 

It's not only this stress that has been getting to me though. It seems that lately, Aaron and I just aren't seeing eye-to-eye. Last night I was honest with him about something, and he got pissed. I felt like he was mad at me, and of course, once the tears started they wouldn't stop. We worked that out though, as we always do. I cried this morning too, because I feel like I try so hard just to make him happy, but it doesn't work. I feel like since I came into his life, it's been nothing but problems. I feel like his family hates me, and will never accept me or our child, and that really hurts too. I want nothing more than to make Aaron happy. I've left the decision of 'us' and whether there will be one or not up to him since day 1. I love him, but again, I want him happy. Yes, this is what I wanted, but this is also what he wanted. I just really want his family to love me and our daughter., I want him to be happy, and I want to make him happy. That's all. /: 

Just a shout out to Alyssa and Kaitlin who let me vent last night, and are always there for me. I'm glad I have friends like you! I love you guys!

Oh and guess what!!
I finally found Adelynn a swimsuit for after she's born.

 

Guess what...

I'm tired of calling the baby... well baby.. So first and foremost...

It's a girl!!!!

That's right, little Miss. Adelynn Grace is due on June 29th. I cannot wait!

So anyways, onto the other announcement.

As of yesterday, this girl is 21 weeks along. 

That means that Adelynn is now almost 10.5 inches long and weighs about 12 ounces. Ady also has eyebrows now. She's definitely turned into a little kicker too. Mostly whenever daddy leaves, definitely gonna be a daddy's girl. 

So for those of you couldn't make it to the baby shower on Saturday, it was awesome! We had a really good time, and Aaron did an amazing job picking out the gender reveal outfit.







Mommy finally got to go shopping too, and pick out her first outfit. Which was fun! ( :

But that's about it for today.

Everyone have a great day, and be safe in this crazy weather.

Love,
Adelynn and Mommy 

Halfway... FINALLY!

That's right... I'm finally at 20 weeks, which means I'm finally HALF WAY!

It's hard to believe that I'm halfway through this pregnancy already. It's also hard to believe that in 5 days I'll know if I'm having a girl or boy! It kind of sucks that I'm starting this week off sick, but hopefully I'll feel better soon.

So, as for the update for the baby:
 
Baby Clark is now around 6.5 inches long and weighs about 10.5 ounces. The baby has started swallowing more and more, which is good. It strengthens his/her digestive system. The baby is also producing meconium now. It's a by-product of his/her digestive system working. 

 

 

Fetal Anatomy Scan

That's right. Yesterday Aaron and I went in to have the ultrasound done in which they check the anatomy of the baby, and by far the biggest thing.. tell you the sex of your soon-to-be.

But we had a problem. /: 

The baby was extremely uncooperative.

I'm not even kidding.

My little bundle of joy, decided to lay face down the entire time! /: 

So, the technician couldn't get a clear picture of the heart, face, or profile of the baby. And, couldn't tell use the sex.  Plus the amount of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby is low.

Luckily for me, I had a doctor's appointment today, and the doctor rescheduled a second ultrasound. He worked with me, and it's set up for Valentine's day! The day before the baby shower, as originally planned! 

Only 8 days! ( :

But that is all! 

Have a nice night.

Love,

Auni and Baby.

I have a secret...

Okay, so this blog is going to start off as any normal blog, with an update on the baby as I have started a new week of this crazy ride. But after that, I'm going to be coming out. No, it's not what you think, but I'll explain a little more after the update.

Week 19 is finally here!!!

Why is that such a big deal? Well, 1st off: tomorrow Aaron gets to find out the sex of the baby. And though I have to wait TEN days to find out myself (I'm sure it will feel like a hundred), it's super exciting. And I have my next doctor's appointment on Thursday, so this week I get to see my baby, and hear my baby twice. WOO!

So, onto the baby.

This week is a big week in baby's brain. The baby's brain is distinguishing areas for smell, taste, sight, hearing and touch. Some research has found that baby may be able to hear my voice now too. I don't know if I find that cool, or eerie... haha. The baby's arms and legs are now in the correct proportions to each other and to the rest of baby's body. Baby's kidneys are functioning, and the baby's hair (if he or she will have any) is starting to form. Vernix Caseosa is starting to form on the baby too. That is, a waxy covering is starting to form on baby's skin so that he or she doesn't pickle in the amniotic fluid.

Baby now weighs around 8.5 ounces and is around 6 inches from head to bottom. And I've officially felt baby move. (: So, that's pretty exciting. 

Is it me, or does baby look like a pretzel???

Welp, that's about all I have for the baby update. So I guess it's onto my next topic. 

I have a secret!

Okay, so yes.. I have a secret. I'm just going to come out and say it...

I do not think God (or any all knowing, all powerful being) exists.

Now, I know that's probably going to piss a few people off, because I know a few people (I don't know if they read or not) that do believe in God, and in fact they worship God on Sundays. I'm not saying you're wrong, nor will I try to force my way of viewing the world/way of thinking onto you. I respect your right to believe what you want. All I ask, is that you give me the same respect in return. IF you think you cannot do that, please feel free to remove yourself from my life. 

This isn't just something that I decided on a whim. I tried to believe, I really did. I went to church faithfully for months with my mom, I read the Bible, everything, but I just can't comprehend, I guess.

The first thing I noticed that really started the questioning thoughts came when I was little, and really hit full force when I was old enough to understand. I didn't, nor do I yet, understand why there is so much pain, suffering, etc. in a world that is supposed to be ruled by an all-loving God, especially when it comes to children. I just don't understand.
"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.[a] 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” -Revelations 21:3-4 (NLT)

So, right here it says that these things are gone forever, but I see them on a daily basis. 

Then as I got older and I could finally grasp what was going on in the LGBT community, and what the religious examples in my life were preaching, I almost lost it. But I held on. 

"8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life  and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil  and your lips from telling lies. 11 Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it." 1 Peter 3: 8-11 (NLT)

This says to search for peace and work to maintain it, but it seemed that all I saw in my own church was the congregation shunning anyone who wasn't like them. It wasn't even just on the homosexual front, but in everything. If they didn't believe exactly as everyone else they were shunned, if they wanted to look at other religions... shunned. There was just no making them happy.
My mom and I switched churches, and I found the same thing. But it just got worse, I think. I now have friends that are part of the LGBT community. Hell, my two best friends are, and this new church gave out pamphlets before the sermon one Sunday about how terrible it was to be part of, or supporters of, this group of people. Doesn't the Bible say to love one another? Well, I've never felt so much hatred in one room.

But the final straw, had to be when someone I know, twisted the teachings of the bible to not only shun my fiancé, though he was committing a sin DAILY. My fiancé and I met in a pretty abnormal way, and many people didn't agree with it. But to have a man spout the bible and his Christian beliefs as his reasoning for not accepting us as his friend any longer, when he was an open/practicing homosexual, really pissed me off. I felt that he was using Christianity just to suit his own agenda."“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others.[a] The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." The bible tells not to judge people, but isn't that exactly what he was doing? He was judging us for our actions, when his actions were those of a "detestable sin" as my bible calls it. 

I know not all Christian believers are like this. I know quite a few on a personal level. But I just don't believe. There's nothing more I need to or want to say about it. Like I said before, all I'm asking is that you don't try to push your beliefs on me, because I have a right to believe how I want.

So on that note! 
Have a nice day! 
-Auni and Baby.