Week 19 is finally here!!!
Why is that such a big deal? Well, 1st off: tomorrow Aaron gets to find out the sex of the baby. And though I have to wait TEN days to find out myself (I'm sure it will feel like a hundred), it's super exciting. And I have my next doctor's appointment on Thursday, so this week I get to see my baby, and hear my baby twice. WOO!
So, onto the baby.
This week is a big week in baby's brain. The baby's brain is distinguishing areas for smell, taste, sight, hearing and touch. Some research has found that baby may be able to hear my voice now too. I don't know if I find that cool, or eerie... haha. The baby's arms and legs are now in the correct proportions to each other and to the rest of baby's body. Baby's kidneys are functioning, and the baby's hair (if he or she will have any) is starting to form. Vernix Caseosa is starting to form on the baby too. That is, a waxy covering is starting to form on baby's skin so that he or she doesn't pickle in the amniotic fluid.
Baby now weighs around 8.5 ounces and is around 6 inches from head to bottom. And I've officially felt baby move. (: So, that's pretty exciting.
Is it me, or does baby look like a pretzel???
Welp, that's about all I have for the baby update. So I guess it's onto my next topic.
I have a secret!
Okay, so yes.. I have a secret. I'm just going to come out and say it...
I do not think God (or any all knowing, all powerful being) exists.
Now, I know that's probably going to piss a few people off, because I know a few people (I don't know if they read or not) that do believe in God, and in fact they worship God on Sundays. I'm not saying you're wrong, nor will I try to force my way of viewing the world/way of thinking onto you. I respect your right to believe what you want. All I ask, is that you give me the same respect in return. IF you think you cannot do that, please feel free to remove yourself from my life.
This isn't just something that I decided on a whim. I tried to believe, I really did. I went to church faithfully for months with my mom, I read the Bible, everything, but I just can't comprehend, I guess.
The first thing I noticed that really started the questioning thoughts came when I was little, and really hit full force when I was old enough to understand. I didn't, nor do I yet, understand why there is so much pain, suffering, etc. in a world that is supposed to be ruled by an all-loving God, especially when it comes to children. I just don't understand.
"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.[a] 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” -Revelations 21:3-4 (NLT)
"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.[a] 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” -Revelations 21:3-4 (NLT)
So, right here it says that these things are gone forever, but I see them on a daily basis.
Then as I got older and I could finally grasp what was going on in the LGBT community, and what the religious examples in my life were preaching, I almost lost it. But I held on.
"8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. 11 Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it." 1 Peter 3: 8-11 (NLT)
This says to search for peace and work to maintain it, but it seemed that all I saw in my own church was the congregation shunning anyone who wasn't like them. It wasn't even just on the homosexual front, but in everything. If they didn't believe exactly as everyone else they were shunned, if they wanted to look at other religions... shunned. There was just no making them happy.
My mom and I switched churches, and I found the same thing. But it just got worse, I think. I now have friends that are part of the LGBT community. Hell, my two best friends are, and this new church gave out pamphlets before the sermon one Sunday about how terrible it was to be part of, or supporters of, this group of people. Doesn't the Bible say to love one another? Well, I've never felt so much hatred in one room.
But the final straw, had to be when someone I know, twisted the teachings of the bible to not only shun my fiancé, though he was committing a sin DAILY. My fiancé and I met in a pretty abnormal way, and many people didn't agree with it. But to have a man spout the bible and his Christian beliefs as his reasoning for not accepting us as his friend any longer, when he was an open/practicing homosexual, really pissed me off. I felt that he was using Christianity just to suit his own agenda."“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others.[a] The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." The bible tells not to judge people, but isn't that exactly what he was doing? He was judging us for our actions, when his actions were those of a "detestable sin" as my bible calls it.
I know not all Christian believers are like this. I know quite a few on a personal level. But I just don't believe. There's nothing more I need to or want to say about it. Like I said before, all I'm asking is that you don't try to push your beliefs on me, because I have a right to believe how I want.
So on that note!
Have a nice day!
-Auni and Baby.
My mom and I switched churches, and I found the same thing. But it just got worse, I think. I now have friends that are part of the LGBT community. Hell, my two best friends are, and this new church gave out pamphlets before the sermon one Sunday about how terrible it was to be part of, or supporters of, this group of people. Doesn't the Bible say to love one another? Well, I've never felt so much hatred in one room.
But the final straw, had to be when someone I know, twisted the teachings of the bible to not only shun my fiancé, though he was committing a sin DAILY. My fiancé and I met in a pretty abnormal way, and many people didn't agree with it. But to have a man spout the bible and his Christian beliefs as his reasoning for not accepting us as his friend any longer, when he was an open/practicing homosexual, really pissed me off. I felt that he was using Christianity just to suit his own agenda."“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others.[a] The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." The bible tells not to judge people, but isn't that exactly what he was doing? He was judging us for our actions, when his actions were those of a "detestable sin" as my bible calls it.
I know not all Christian believers are like this. I know quite a few on a personal level. But I just don't believe. There's nothing more I need to or want to say about it. Like I said before, all I'm asking is that you don't try to push your beliefs on me, because I have a right to believe how I want.
So on that note!
Have a nice day!
-Auni and Baby.
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