So I'm gonna tell you a little about my... uhm.. not so beautiful moments. And everything I'm going to tell you revolves around one tiny, itty-bitty aspect of pregnancy that I don't think a whole lot of people even think about until they are actually pregnant.
HORMONES!
Trust me, hormones do some pretty crazy things to your body, and they are annoying but that's not even the worst part.
Since I got pregnant (8 weeks and 4 days ago), I have barely been able to eat. Lucky for me, I haven't actually thrown up from the nausea, but let me tell you.. if I eat too much, it feels like someone is dropping pain bombs in my stomach. And it is NOT FUN! The food aversions and cravings are also driving me bonkers. I don't have many aversions, but it seems the main one lately is ranch, and for those of you who know me... that's a HUGE deal.*For those of you who don't: I eat ranch on almost EVERYTHING.* My cravings are sporadic to say the least, but there seems to be one sticking with me. COOKIE DOUGH. No, not cookies.. just the thought of baked cookies makes me want to hurl, but good ole' raw cookie dough. For those of you who don't know.. this is a HUGE no no. Raw eggs may contain salmonella, which could harm the fetus. *See the bottom of this for cookie dough recipes that don't contain eggs, and can be eaten straight from the bowl... YUM!*
Now, onto probably the worst part of being a hormonal, pregnant woman. I...Cry...All...The...Time. About anything, nothing, everything... My fiance says the wrong thing and on come the water works, joking or not. My favorite example:
My fiance LOVES Christmastime. He loves the lights, and the smells, and the sights (he's like a little kid at a carnival). we We were at Wal-Mart one day and we were looking at Christmas trees and I said we should pick one up. They had 6 foot trees on sale for $20 and we probably wouldn't find one much cheaper. He (jokingly) said, "We don't need a tree." I turned and said, "YES WE DO." He then started (jokingly, again), going off about how we didn't need a tree, unless I worshiped the tree god, and all kinds of stuff. Any other time, this would have been hilarious..
Being pregnant and extremely hormonal... it took everything in me not to break down in tears right there in the tree aisle. Needless to say: we got the tree.
But yeah. The hormones.. they suck.And they don't/wont't get better for a while, so... I have a bumpy road ahead I guess.
Now to talk about the part of the hormones that.. can, not always is, but can be fun.
The DREAMS....
My dreams lately have been.. well to put it nicely CRAZY. But they aren't always dreams, I've had nightmares too. And the nightmares are a lot more vivid than they used to be. It seems like I have 3 that tend to come quite often...
The first one involved my fiance... He told me he hated me, and that he never wanted the baby in the first place, and then he leaves. This one had me in tears, in my sleep. My fiance was home that night (He works third shift), and he woke me up and I couldn't quit crying.
The second nightmare involved miscarriage. I read somewhere that dreams about miscarriage are pretty common, but it was so real, it scared me for days.
The last one is a recurring nightmare. When I was in Junior High I was raped by a boy that was supposed to love me. Since then, whenever I get close to guys, I have this dream.
It's a significant event (monthiversary, anniversary, etc), he tells me he has a surprise for me. I'm not much for surprises, but this guy loves me, so why not. He blindfolds me, and helps me into his car. We drive for what seems like hours, and then he leads me into this room. I don't know where I'm at, or what we're doing. I'm thinking it's going to be some fancy place, but when I remove the blindfold it's just a dark room with a single light shining over a bed. And the boy that was supposed to love me, all those years ago, is in the corner, waiting for me. And the rape... it happens all over again.
I've only had this dream once since I got pregnant, and I think it's because I saw him the day I found out. (Read post #1 for the craziness of finding out I'm pregnant). He was outside the Hy-Vee we stopped at. The dream has a different ending now though:
He's standing in the corner waiting for me. I start crying, I know what's going to happen. But to my surprise, he speaks.. "So you're pregnant huh?" I can't find my voice, I just nod. He shakes his head, "Such a pity." And that's when the rape starts, except he isn't raping me.. he's using a household object. He's trying to hurt my baby.
This dream shook me to the core. I woke up, and could not fall back asleep. I was alone that night, which made it even worse. I was petrified.
But enough about that, not all the dreams are bad. There are some that are actually fun, crazy, and just overall awesome to have. The newest happened just a couple of nights ago:
I was in Chicago with one of my close friends. We were driving, though I'm not exactly sure where we were going. Then, all of a sudden, she screamed, "Oh my goodness." I freaked out then looked over and was in shock. There was a giant Toys R Us, but it was shaped like a pirate ship, and the whole outside was a giant jungle gym with slides and swings and all kinds of fun stuff. We HAD to go! So we got there, and found out there was this massive ball pit, and my friend just HAD to go in it. Well she was the millionth ball pit participant, so we got a $1,000 gift card to the store.
We went into the store and bought all kinds of crazy toys, mostly nerf guns. We took the nerf guns back to our school and hid in bushes outside of our friends' dorms and whenever the left or came in, we shot at them. They never found us, and had no idea what was going on. Then we got bored and decided we were gonna go back to this store. So we went back to Chicago, and when we got to the Toys R Us they had added more to it. The wording now lit up like casino lights, and there was a giant crows nest. Off that crows nest was a slide, that weaved all over and in and out of the building. We just HAD to go on that too! So we did...
And then I woke up. I don't dream like this every night, but when I do it makes for some good stories. Haha. And I can officially say I dream in color. Because the lights at Toys R Us were pink, and orange, and purple, and green, and just gorgeous!
So anywho, I wanted to post about my dreams yesterday, so I'm glad I got that out. Now I'm off. (:
Have a great day everyone!
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