18 Weeks and Counting...

Welp, yesterday started my 18th week. And I realized something. If women were only pregnant for 9 months, this would be my halfway bench mark. However; women carry children for 40 weeks (which would be 10 months), making week 20 my halfway point. Anyways, onto the baby....

Baby Clark is currently about 5 and a half inches long and weighs around 7 ounces (we're slowly but surely getting to the one pound mark, haha). The baby is constantly moving his/her arms and legs, which I have felt a couple of times, but it's not much of feeling... It's like a flutter or gassy feeling, but the movements will get stronger in the coming weeks. The baby's ears are now in their final position, even though they stick out slightly. You can see the baby's blood vessels through his/her skin, and a protective cover of myelin is forming around the baby's nerves. This process will continue through the baby's first year of life.

If the baby is a girl, her fallopian tubes and uterus are in place, if the baby is a boy his genitals are now visible through ultrasound! And Aaron will be seeing the baby on the 5th! And all of my friends, family, and even me... will find out on the 15th! I'm super excited!

So what else has been happening in the last week?
Well, we got the baby's nursery started. The walls have been painted, the crib is up, the bedding is on, and the swing is put together. 

We decided on the yellow and gray, because it works for both genders and the monkey is ADORABLE! Even though you can't tell in the picture, the quilted comforter matches the mobile, in that it's gray and white chevron. The mobile has an elephant, a monkey, and 2 giraffes on it! It's super cute! I don't have a picture of the swing in the nursery, but it's a monkey also! 

I don't have a whole lot more to say, other than that I love Aaron tremendously.

So, everyone have a great week! Stay warm! 

With Love,

-Baby and Auni

A mother and her wishes...

This one is going to be a little bit different. There are going to be some things about the baby, but mostly it's going to be a look into the lovely transformation I've been seeing in myself.

So before I can discuss this transformation, I have to take you back, wayyyy back, to February of 1993.

I was born in January. Around the time I was 5 weeks old (February), my grandmother came to see me and her daughter (my biological mother). When she arrived there was a trash bag sitting on the front porch, and she could hear me screaming through the door. She knocked, but no one answered, so she walked in. When she came in, she found me lying in a bassinet, my diaper was so soaked it was leaking, and my clothes were dirty. I was screaming, probably because my diaper was so gross, but no one knows when I had last been fed. My biological mother, was lying on the couch with a pillow over her face. My grandmother picked me up, changed me, and asked my biological mom why her boyfriend (who was not my biological dad) had not taken out the trash. Her response:

"Oh that's not trash, those are puppies."

Her boyfriend's dog had had puppies, and he killed them. My grandmother took me that day, with my biological mother's permission. A few days later my grandmother went back to her house, me in tow, to pick up some more clothes. My biological mother was getting ready to go to the mall with some of her friends and asked,

"You aren't bringing her back are you?"

Going to the mall, with her friends, was more important than taking care of her daughter. My grandmother said no, got my clothes, and left. When my biological mother found out that she wouldn't be receiving as much in financial aid from the state, her boyfriend's sister and herself showed up at my grandparent's home. They started yelling and screaming, making a scene, so my grandmother called the police. The police said, that unless she had paperwork from an attorney, or could get it by the next day, she had to give me back. 

She was not going to let that happen!

My grandmother contacted her attorney, and did as he said. We stayed the night in a hotel, and he got the paperwork together. With the conditions she found me in, and the issues my biological mom was causing, it was easy for the attorney to see her side. A few months later, I was fully adopted and my grandparents became my parents. Because I was so young, my grandparents became MOM AND DAD. I have never, nor will I ever, call my biological mother my mom. She had me for five weeks of my life, and her boyfriend, her friends, her life was more important than her own child. She was never my mom. Simple.

Now that I'm older, I have asked her why she didn't want me. And I can't eve get a straight answer, and I think that's what pisses me off the most. Every time she's asked, her response is:

"I DON'T KNOW."

How? How can you not know why you didn't want your kid? She has tried to say it was because she couldn't afford it, but she got food stamps, WIC, state aid, plus I got my own state aid, she had a medical card, and my grandparents were willing to help. Not to mention the fit she threw when she didn't receive as much from the state without me. 

It doesn't stop there though. This woman, this idiot, decided it was a good idea to have two more children with this man (who didn't want a child in the first place), and they were also put up for adoption. They were adopted by their biological father's brother, but they now live two and a half hours away. I have two, little, half-sisters, that I barely ever get to see, because this woman who couldn't raise a child to begin with, decided it was a good idea to have more kids. Really?

Needless to say: We do not get along. I know that getting adopted was the best thing to happen to me, and I'm extremely happy that I did. I am so grateful for my parents, that they were willing to take in and raise a child that wasn't theirs. I'm grateful for everything they've done for me, and everything they have gotten me growing up, but I still have some resentment toward my biological mother. I can't, nor do I think I ever will be able to, comprehend how someone could just give up their child because their boyfriend didn't want a child. Nor can I understand why she would have two more children. I can't comprehend how she can still call me her daughter, and think it's perfectly okay. I can't comprehend how she can be so selfish, and rude when we were raised by the same woman who has instilled nothing but kindness into me since I was just a little baby. I just don't understand.

But now, onto my wishes. There will be more explanations of this woman in the middle of this, but now that you know the back story, you may understand a little bit more of why my wishes are the way they are.

My wish: I have told my mom that I do NOT want Tammy (my biological mother) to be at the hospital (in my room) when I'm in labor or after delivering the baby. I also told her, I want Tammy and my child to have little to no contact when the baby comes home.

Not only do Tammy and I not get along, she made it apparent THREE TIMES that she is unfit to raise a child. Not only that, she is very unhygienic. Tammy has a disease called Lupus. For more information visit: http://www.webmd.com/lupus/arthritis-lupus

Because of this disease, she has to have dialysis. Dialysis is where they pull all of her blood from her body, filter it, and put it back in because her kidneys don't work properly. All of the other people that go there are sick in some way, and usually they have weakened immune systems. Because the patients get sick often, Tammy brings a lot of germs into the house. She doesn't like to wash her hands, cover her mouth when she coughs, etc. 

Which brings me to my transformation: I'm only four months along, but I've realized that I've quit doing things in lieu of what I want, and more in lieu of what would be best for my child.

And what's best for my child, is to NOT get sick! Since getting sick would be more likely around Tammy, it's best for my child to take away or minimize that risk.

Now, the title is "A mother and her wishes..." right? Well I was one of the lucky ones. My mom, for the most part, understood why I would want things that way, and was happy to oblige. She's also respected my wish NOT to tell ANYONE the sex of the baby until the baby shower, even though she gets to find out 10 days prior. And she's respected my wishes for a few other things.

But I know people who are not granted that respect. A mother only wishes things because they are WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD, and I honestly think people need to respect those wishes. It's terrible when the wishes are being neglected by the child's other parent or close friends. And because I've seen how hard this is for others, I'm going to tell people RIGHT NOW...

MY WISHES ARE FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF MY CHILD, AND IF YOU CANNOT RESPECT THEM, YOU WILL NOT BE IN MY LIFE! 

Got it? Because, my child will always be first and foremost. ( :

Okay, well on that note.

With Love,
-Baby and Mommy-to-be.

17 Weeks. (:

These posts just keep getting smaller and smaller and smaller. But that's probably because the further along I get, the less the baby has to develop, aside from gaining weight, and getting strong enough to survive outside the womb. So, I have a lot to tell you guys about this time, but we're going to start with how our little one is doing.

So, as the title says I'm 17 weeks along, as of yesterday. This week, our baby's skeleton is changing from cartilage to bone. And the umbilical cord is getting stronger and thicker. Our baby weighs about as much as a turnip now, or around 5 ounces and is around 5 inches long. The baby can move all of his/her joints and his/her sweat glands are starting to form.

I told you... as I get further along there isn't much to report about. /:

Onto the next topic.

Aaron and I got to welcome a new little one into our family, on none other, than my birthday. Aaron's daughter, Marysa, was born on January 14, 2014.

To be honest, Aaron and I have had a crazy relationship, but I don't need to, nor do I feel like, explaining that to the world. All I know, is I will have better pictures when we get them. We already have all of the outfits for all three of his kids to have their pictures done.

Next topic.

After changing my mind, a whopping three times, I have finally picked out the bedding set for the baby. We went from Star Wars, to Finding Nemo, to Lion King, and finally.. I found something at Target and automatically fell in love with it.

It's called Zigs and Zags, and it's absolutely adorable. Though I didn't find the exact same brand, I also found a bumper that matches perfectly, and a lamp shade that I'm like in love with! All I need now is a rug, and possibly a canopy for over the bed (if it's a girl... fingers crossed).

My mom was with us today when I found this, and she loves it too! She wanted to go baby shopping today, but she keeps getting frustrated because we haven't found out the sex of the baby yet. Hahaha.

Regardless, she got her soon-to-be grandchild some cute outfits.

   

 

I was sooooo excited! Then she also got us, a bottle warmer from target that uses water to heat the formula/breast milk (I'm hoping to breast feed). The warmer has a timer that you set, based on how many ounces you'll be feeding the baby. She also got us a spinning, drying rack for the bottles we use. It was pretty nice of her! 

Welp, that about sums up this post. Hope everyone has a nice night, and stays warm!

Happy Early Birthday, Mommy-To-Be!!

Yep, that's right... Mommy-To-Be will be 21 years old, on Tuesday!!! And with her birthday, has come a lot of stress. But before we get into all the issues at hand, let's discuss the fact that Baby Clark is now 16 weeks. (:

Baby Clark is now the size of an avocado, that means he/she measures in at 4.5 inches (crown to rump) and weighs about 3.5 ounces. The baby's head is still getting more erect than it has been, the eyes are still moving to where they will be when the baby is born, and the baby's heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood a day, which will only increase as the baby continues to develop. The baby has started to grow toenails too!

But that's about it for baby development, as it slows down as the baby gets older. So now, onto the other topics.

As some of you may remember, in my first post I said I wasn't writing this blog to say that younger people shouldn't be having children, I was only posting this to show some of the problems that someone may face during their pregnancy.

Well, I've hit another big one!

My dad has been offered a new job. He'll be getting a $9.00 an hour raise. I'm so happy for him, I mean that's awesome. So where's the problem? All of my health insurance comes from my father. His last day will be the 26th of this month (January). He has to work for 30 days at the new company before he'll be able to get insurance from the new company. That means, I'll be without insurance until about March 1st. As most of you know, especially being pregnant, I HAVE to go to the doctor at least once a month. I also have my 20 week ultrasound in that span of time. 

It's pretty scary to think that I have to go to these appointments and will have no insurance to help pay for them. As many of you know, doctor's appointments are expensive. My doctor's appointment alone is $199.00 if the insurance covers nothing.

So now, onto a good note to end my blog post!

At my last appointment, my doctor allowed me to schedule my next ultrasound so that I could do the baby shower, as a gender reveal shower. She also told me I didn't have to wait until week 22, and that I could do it anytime after week 20 started. The lady that did the scheduling was awesome, and worked with me. She let me set up the appointment for the first Friday following the start of my 20th week, and what day does that happen to be? 

FEBRUARY 14TH. THAT'S RIGHT, VALENTINE'S DAY!

Aaron and I decided on what we were doing for the baby shower, well kind of. I picked most of it, but he also knew I wanted to do gender reveal. Because my sister did the whole color in the cake thing less than a month ago, I wanted to do something VERY different. So, lucky daddy-to-be gets to find out the sex on Valentine's day. He's going to go to Von Maur, and pick out an outfit that represents the sex of the baby. He's going to have them wrap the box, and he's going to bring it to the shower so that I can open it. (: And that is how I'm going to find out. My mom is also going to decorate the cake based on the sex of the baby, so that'll be fun for her.

We've decided on most of the prizes, and the games. And we're in the process of deciding on food.

So, hopefully things go as planned!

Anyways, now that I've ended on something good, I'm off to hang out with my baby before I go to church to deliver invites, and then I'm gonna come home and spend some time with him before he heads to work for the night.

One last thing:

Welcome to the family Mr. Trout! (:

15 Weeks. (:

That's right, week 15 starts today, and with it... the illness of my unlucky week 14 is finally disappearing. I'm still coughing, but that's just all the junk in my lungs working its way out. I'm so glad to say that I am feeling better, still some nausea, but the medication helps that. I've had an appetite, and the baby is finally getting all the nutrients he/she could need.

So, what's the baby like this week??

The baby is between 4 and 4 1/2 inches, and weighs between 2 and 3 ounces. That means the baby is the size of a navel orange.

This week, just like the last few weeks, the baby is becoming more human like. The baby's little ears are now placed in their proper location and the baby's eyes are moving to their location. Though the baby's eyes are still fused shut, the baby can now sense light too. The baby's legs are growing so that they are longer than the arms, and now the baby can move all of his/her joints, as well as wiggle fingers and toes. Perhaps the most important development this week, is the start of breathing movements. The baby is moving amniotic fluid through his/her nose and upper respiratory tract to help the air sacs in his/her lungs develop so they are ready for the big world.

I still can't feel the baby kicking or moving, but soon enough. (:

Here's what the baby looks like this week:

Now onto the next topic: The baby shower.

I have to go back to the doctor on Thursday, and I'm trying to pick a date to find out the sex of the baby. But it's so hard! As most of everyone knows, it's going to be a gender reveal shower, so I have a huge decision to make. Do I want to find out at the shower? Or do I want to find out before and just not tell anyone? I'm thinking the first. I wanted it to be a surprise, I honestly didn't want to know. But everyone else does, and as this is our first child, I figured it would be best for everyone. So the baby shower is supposed to be my surprise too. It's so frustrating.

Anyways. (: I'll figure it out.

Have a great day. (: