28 Weeks, and medical update.

Well, we're going to start with the good news...
I'm officially 28 weeks along today.

Which also means... WE ARE OFFICIALLY IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER. ( :

There isn't much going on with Ady, but I'll update you guys anyways.

At 28 weeks gestation, she weighs approximately 2 pounds 4 ounces and is about 14.8 inches long (from head to heel). She can blink now, and has eye lashes. Her eye sight is continuing to develop and she may be able to see the light now filtering through the womb. She's also developing more and more neurons in her brain, and adding more fat to her small body to prepare for life outside the womb. 

Now, onto the medical update and not so good news.

For the past week, I have been in either the hospital or the doctor's office at least once a day (except yesterday, Saturday). As some of you know, my blood pressure was really high on Monday during my normal OB appointment. They sent me directly to the hospital for some monitoring. I stayed overnight Tuesday, into Wednesday because my blood pressure was high once again, and they wanted to do some testing. They did a 24 hour urine collection to check the amount of protein. Though it came back high, it wasn't high enough to be deemed pre-eclampsia, so they deemed it gestational hypertension. They set up an appointment with a specialist in Peoria (I'll be there this coming Thursday). Then on Thursday I was back for more monitoring, and the doctor started me on a blood pressure medication. Friday, I had my follow-up appointment. My blood pressure was still high (I started the medication at 8:30), and I had to have my 28 week labs done so they could send the results to Peoria. 

Saturday was my "day off." 

So, why am I updating you? I was back in the hospital today. I woke up this morning, and my fingers were so swollen that I couldn't even make a fist. 

And my face was so swollen that my eyes were almost swollen shut. My mom took my blood pressure, and it was extremely high (keep in mind I've been on meds for 2 days now). So we called the doctor on call (not my OB), and he said to head back to the OB department at the hospital. So, I went back and they hooked me up to the monitors. The baby looked good, her heartbeat was strong and she was moving quite a bit. 

However; I found out today that... things aren't going to get better with my health. The doctors are simply trying to prolong the pregnancy for however long they can, and allowing Ady the time to mature naturally. I have to meet the doctor in Peoria because if I have to deliver before I'm 33 weeks along, I have to do it there. I was taken out of work indefinitely, and put on bed rest. So my life is going to be pretty boring for the next few weeks, but keeping Ady safe is #1. When the doctor's can no longer prolong the pregnancy, if I'm not at a stage where Ady will be able to survive on her own, they will give me steroid injections and 2-3 days later, induce labor. So, we're hoping we get past that stage, and that Ady stays in the womb as long as she needs to. 

But, that's about it for now. I'm exhausted, my head is getting sore, and I'm off to bed. 

Have a nice night everyone!

-Ady and Mommy

27 Week Update.

3/31/14

I went to the doctor at 1:00. They did all the normal stuff, you know.. weight, blood pressure, urine test, etc. Every single test they did came back abnormal. My weight was ridiculous. I went from losing weight since day one, to gaining 20 pounds in a week. My blood pressure went from being, almost perfect... to extremely high. My urine had protein in it. 

Well, because my blood pressure was high they sent me straight to the hospital for monitoring. They hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff that went off every 15 minutes, and hooked the baby up to a heart monitor and a monitor to see if and when my uterus contracted. 

Of course, when I got to the hospital, my blood pressure went back to normal. The baby's heartbeat looked perfect, and my uterus was calm (which is normal for only being 27 weeks). The blood work they did came back normal, but the urine test came back abnormal, showing more protein than it should.

So they sent me home, but with a 24 hour urine collection. The doctor, who looks just like Dr. Gru, told me that if I had a headache and couldn't get rid of it, to take my blood pressure. If it was high, call the office. And that if I saw any other signs (blurry vision, leaking fluid, bleeding, etc), to come back to the OB department. 

4/1/14

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. Since I fell asleep almost right after getting home last night, it was pretty much.. the tylenol given at the hospital wore off, and the headache came back. I took my blood pressure, and it was at 161/99. So I called the office. They sent me straight back to the hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital, of course the blood pressure was fine. But the Dr. wanted to keep me for overnight observation. So, I'm now sitting in the hospital. The have to check my blood pressure every 2 hours, and they have to monitor baby for 30-ish minutes every 8 hours. My blood pressure was okay, but it went back up to 179/92.  I still have to do the 24 hour urine collection. They let me use the whirlpool, which was nice. I totally want one.

I had some low-grade contractions earlier, but nothing too major. I talked to the doctor, and if this is what they think, they'll have to start giving me steroid injections to make Ady's lungs develop quicker, so they can induce labor. But I'll know more later... 

For now, I'm gonna try to relax, and watch Big Bang with Aaron. 

Have a great night everyone!

-Ady and Mommy

27 weeks.

That's right. We are at 27 weeks. That means there are 13 weeks left.. Crazy to think that in 10 weeks I'll be FULL TERM. It's coming so fast!!!!

But anywho, that's not why anyone is here, right? You're here to hear about the baby. Haha.

So, at this point, Adelynn is weighing in at almost 2 pounds and is about 14 and a half inches with her legs extended. She now sleeps and wakes at regular intervals (we'll discuss more of this later). She opens and closes her eyes and may even suck on her fingers. Her lungs may still be immature, but with medical help they would be capable of functioning if, for whatever reason, she was born now. Her brain is functioning more and more as the tissue develops. Ady could be having hiccups too. 

So, onto the doctor. I was supposed to go on Thursday, but I called today. I've been swelling like a balloon, barely using the bathroom (despite the amount of liquid I take in), and Ady hasn't been moving as often as she used to. And last night, when she did move, it didn't feel nearly as strong as it used nor was it for as long. I'm starting to really worry. ) : So, I rescheduled the appointment for today at 1:00. And I'll keep you guys posted. Wish me luck.

26 Weeks. 2 days.

It's really hard to believe that I'm already past the 26 week mark, and that in under 4 weeks time I'll only have 10 weeks left! It seems like my pregnancy has been just breezing by... now if the cold weather could just breeze its way out of my area, that'd be great. I'm sooooo ready for SPRING! 

So, let me first start by updating you on little Miss. Adelynn! 

She currently weighs around 1 pound and 12 ounces, and is approximately 14 inches long. The site says, the size of a scallion, whatever that is! Any ideas? To google I go...

So, they're like green onion looking things. Okay.. Good to know she's approximately that long! Haha. Anyways:

Her nerves in her ears are better developed now, making them more sensitive. She can possibly hear her daddy's voice now too, when he and I are chatting. She is continuing to inhale and exhale the amniotic fluid she's living in, which is helping her little lungs develop so that she can take that big first breath! But that's all that's really going on with our little one right now. Not too exciting, but exciting nonetheless.

So, I have so much to update everyone on!

I don't even know where to start, okay, maybe I do.

1: For most of you that know Aaron and I, you know that we are pretty big nerds (my nerdy side definitely showed up when he came into my life, but that's beside the point). When I first met him he was the commanding officer (captain) of a star ship, the USS-Riverside. In other words; he was the leader of a chapter of a Star Trek club here in our area. Well, there was a bit of a falling out, and Aaron left his position and the chapter, and I followed suit. To be honest, though I love the organization now (Starfleet International: www.sfi.org) I originally joined simply because Aaron and I were a couple, I wasn't going to stay in a chapter that he wasn't in. 

Anyways, we transferred to another chapter, and they are great. And we found a chapter locally, from a different organization, that has pretty much taken us under their wing. And this chapter is everything I wanted the other one to be, and so much more. They are warm, open, and definitely fun to be around. On top of that, they are working to better the community in which they live, and helping out national charities.

So aside from the meetings we go to once a month, in June we will (hopefully, if Ady holds off) be attending the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure as a group! We will be ordering shirts that say "Trek for a Cause" and going out to just have a good time! So for any of you reading this, if you'd like to support the cause and have a great time, come on out and join us!!! For more information, message/comment and I'll get back to you!

2: Sticking with the Star Trek theme, Aaron and I have officially decided on what our first family vacation will be after Adelynn joins us! We will be attending the

2014 STARFLEET International Conference.

This year it's in Rockford, IL, so we'll be killing two birds with one stone pretty much. My little sister lives in that area, so she will get to come see Ady, and we will get to see a bunch of our SFI friends! It's going to be a pretty big trip, and with my not getting a paycheck around that time, we've already started saving/budgeting money! I can't wait though! I did some research and found out that the hotel we'll be staying out has a water park connected to it, so my little sister will be coming one day and we'll be spending the entire day at the water park! Should be pretty fun. 

3: FMLA.

This one kinda sucks to be honest. As of right now, it looks like I probably won't be able to take the full 12 weeks off granted by FMLA, because I won't have enough hours in a 12 month span to be eligible. That means, I only get 8 weeks off. /: But if that's the case, then there's not much I can do. Aside from hope I have enough hours.

But, I think that's about it for now! 

So again, If you're interested in doing the Race for the Cure and live in the QC area, let me know! You don't have to join the Star Trek club or anything like that, just pay your registration fee and register under our team name! ( : Then we can walk and be merry... even though I'll be 8.5 months pregnant. Haha.

24 / 25 Week Update

Yep, I know I missed my update last week. But there really wasn't much to update about. The baby is 'developing' less and less the closer I get to due date, which is normal. A lot of the major developments take place in the first trimester. 

But this week (week 25), the baby is starting to gain some baby fat, which will make her wrinkled skin more smooth. She is currently around 13.5 inches long and weighs about a pound and a half (that's almost what she weighed at our last ultrasound). She is starting to get more hair too! 

So, onto my next topic. I'm currently working on a binder.. I like to call it my.. LIFE BINDER. There's going to be all sorts of important information located in the binder. Things like, our family budget, birth certificates, immunization records, hospital/doctor information, things needed for the birth of Ady... just all kinds of fun stuff to keep organized! And I'm pretty excited about it! I'll post pictures when I get it finished.

Anywho, I know it's short, but like I said, not a whole lot to update on!

Have a great weekend! (it's almost here).

-Auni and Ady

Update 3/7/14

Welp, I told you guys I would update you after the ultrasound yesterday, and though I'm a day behind, here we go.

So, little Miss. Adelynn was laying in a great position yesterday. She was butt down, and didn't flip over at all. However, she kept moving her hands and feet and refused to lay still for the ultrasound technician. The pictures of her heart turned out great, but I still didn't walk away with a nice profile shot of her. I got a couple of the face, and one of a foot (that makes 3 of her feet). She weighs approximately 1 lb and 5 oz at this point in time. My fluid level is at a healthy level also.

However,
The doctor is worried that I may have low blood sugar because I've been even more tired now than I was in the first trimester, and I'm still losing weight. She thinks Ady is taking more out of my blood than I'm taking in in a day, but sugar just doesn't sound good usually (weird, I know). Right now though, I'm craving ice cream! lol

So, there's your update. Not a whole lot to it, because things look great at the moment. <3

Have a great one!
Love,
Adelynn and Auni

Only 17 weeks left!!!!

It's been like this for a couple weeks now, but it's hard to believe that I'm now at a higher week than the number I have left. That probably doesn't make sense... soooo.. I'm 23 weeks along and only have 17 weeks left! With every week my excitement level keeps building. I just want my little Ady here! RIGHT NOW! 

So, how about that update?!

As I said, I'm at 23 weeks. Ady is now more than 11 inches long and weighs over a pound. She's definitely moving like a champ, and I can now see my tummy moves when she kicks. The blood vessels in her lungs are forming to prepare her for breathing outside the womb. And her ears are becoming more sensitive to sounds to help her great ready for this great big world. Louder, everyday noises (like my crazy dogs or the vacuum cleaner) won't bother her too much, because she can hear them now. 

I have my next ultrasound and doctor's appointment on Thursday! So there will be another update later in the week! (:

22 Weeks; Can it be over now?

Almost every time there's a pregnant woman on TV they are glowing, happy, and there aren't any problems. But that's not how it's been, AT ALL. I'm constantly hormonal, I cry at dumb things, I have an extremely hard time getting comfortable, and I'm always tired. I want Adelynn to be fully developed, but PREGNANCY SUCKS! hahaha. I have multiple things to update on, so let's get started:

Adelynn is now almost 11 inches long and weighs almost a pound. So, she's the size of a spaghetti squash. Her eyebrows, lips, and eyelids are more prominent now, and her tooth buds are beginning to form. Her irises have formed too, but they lack pigment (I really hope she gets her daddy's eyes, because they are gorgeous). Inside Ady's belly, her pancreas is forming, and will produce essential hormones. Her skin is still covered in lanugo, and has deep wrinkles because she hasn't gained her layer of fat yet. Only 18 weeks left, it's hard to believe that I'm already over half-way done. Phew.

 

Okay. So next update. School.

 Well, I'll be officially withdrawing from St. Ambrose on Tuesday. Due to some complications with Adelynn, my doctor wants me to try to take things easier and not be as active in things that can cause stress, and going to school and working cause stress. But, I'm not quitting all together. I applied to Capella University, which uses an online forum. And I got accepted, I think. I got the email that said I had to do the online orientation (which I completed), but I haven't received my admissions offer yet. Fingers crossed it comes tomorrow. So what complications? Well, if you remember, over New Years, I was extremely sick. I had a virus, and I couldn't even keep liquid down. I lost 18 pounds over a 10 day period. The doctor wasn't extremely worried, she said I would just gain it back. Well, I never did. From week 5 to week 20 I lost 19.8 pounds. My amniotic fluid level is low as well, and if that continues there could be problems. So, I'm hoping everything gets better soon, Adelynn grows in my belly to be a healthy little one, and makes it to full term.

Last Update: Stress, Hormones, Hot Mess

I am just so frustrated. I'm tired of people that shouldn't be getting into mine and Aaron's business, getting into our business. I'm posting this blog so that people can see my journey and such, but that doesn't mean that people need to spread the news to others. I think everyone would better understand my point if they new who I was talking about, but I don't feel I should disclose that information. That gets a little more personal than I would like my blog to get. 

It's not only this stress that has been getting to me though. It seems that lately, Aaron and I just aren't seeing eye-to-eye. Last night I was honest with him about something, and he got pissed. I felt like he was mad at me, and of course, once the tears started they wouldn't stop. We worked that out though, as we always do. I cried this morning too, because I feel like I try so hard just to make him happy, but it doesn't work. I feel like since I came into his life, it's been nothing but problems. I feel like his family hates me, and will never accept me or our child, and that really hurts too. I want nothing more than to make Aaron happy. I've left the decision of 'us' and whether there will be one or not up to him since day 1. I love him, but again, I want him happy. Yes, this is what I wanted, but this is also what he wanted. I just really want his family to love me and our daughter., I want him to be happy, and I want to make him happy. That's all. /: 

Just a shout out to Alyssa and Kaitlin who let me vent last night, and are always there for me. I'm glad I have friends like you! I love you guys!

Oh and guess what!!
I finally found Adelynn a swimsuit for after she's born.

 

Guess what...

I'm tired of calling the baby... well baby.. So first and foremost...

It's a girl!!!!

That's right, little Miss. Adelynn Grace is due on June 29th. I cannot wait!

So anyways, onto the other announcement.

As of yesterday, this girl is 21 weeks along. 

That means that Adelynn is now almost 10.5 inches long and weighs about 12 ounces. Ady also has eyebrows now. She's definitely turned into a little kicker too. Mostly whenever daddy leaves, definitely gonna be a daddy's girl. 

So for those of you couldn't make it to the baby shower on Saturday, it was awesome! We had a really good time, and Aaron did an amazing job picking out the gender reveal outfit.







Mommy finally got to go shopping too, and pick out her first outfit. Which was fun! ( :

But that's about it for today.

Everyone have a great day, and be safe in this crazy weather.

Love,
Adelynn and Mommy 

Halfway... FINALLY!

That's right... I'm finally at 20 weeks, which means I'm finally HALF WAY!

It's hard to believe that I'm halfway through this pregnancy already. It's also hard to believe that in 5 days I'll know if I'm having a girl or boy! It kind of sucks that I'm starting this week off sick, but hopefully I'll feel better soon.

So, as for the update for the baby:
 
Baby Clark is now around 6.5 inches long and weighs about 10.5 ounces. The baby has started swallowing more and more, which is good. It strengthens his/her digestive system. The baby is also producing meconium now. It's a by-product of his/her digestive system working. 

 

 

Fetal Anatomy Scan

That's right. Yesterday Aaron and I went in to have the ultrasound done in which they check the anatomy of the baby, and by far the biggest thing.. tell you the sex of your soon-to-be.

But we had a problem. /: 

The baby was extremely uncooperative.

I'm not even kidding.

My little bundle of joy, decided to lay face down the entire time! /: 

So, the technician couldn't get a clear picture of the heart, face, or profile of the baby. And, couldn't tell use the sex.  Plus the amount of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby is low.

Luckily for me, I had a doctor's appointment today, and the doctor rescheduled a second ultrasound. He worked with me, and it's set up for Valentine's day! The day before the baby shower, as originally planned! 

Only 8 days! ( :

But that is all! 

Have a nice night.

Love,

Auni and Baby.

I have a secret...

Okay, so this blog is going to start off as any normal blog, with an update on the baby as I have started a new week of this crazy ride. But after that, I'm going to be coming out. No, it's not what you think, but I'll explain a little more after the update.

Week 19 is finally here!!!

Why is that such a big deal? Well, 1st off: tomorrow Aaron gets to find out the sex of the baby. And though I have to wait TEN days to find out myself (I'm sure it will feel like a hundred), it's super exciting. And I have my next doctor's appointment on Thursday, so this week I get to see my baby, and hear my baby twice. WOO!

So, onto the baby.

This week is a big week in baby's brain. The baby's brain is distinguishing areas for smell, taste, sight, hearing and touch. Some research has found that baby may be able to hear my voice now too. I don't know if I find that cool, or eerie... haha. The baby's arms and legs are now in the correct proportions to each other and to the rest of baby's body. Baby's kidneys are functioning, and the baby's hair (if he or she will have any) is starting to form. Vernix Caseosa is starting to form on the baby too. That is, a waxy covering is starting to form on baby's skin so that he or she doesn't pickle in the amniotic fluid.

Baby now weighs around 8.5 ounces and is around 6 inches from head to bottom. And I've officially felt baby move. (: So, that's pretty exciting. 

Is it me, or does baby look like a pretzel???

Welp, that's about all I have for the baby update. So I guess it's onto my next topic. 

I have a secret!

Okay, so yes.. I have a secret. I'm just going to come out and say it...

I do not think God (or any all knowing, all powerful being) exists.

Now, I know that's probably going to piss a few people off, because I know a few people (I don't know if they read or not) that do believe in God, and in fact they worship God on Sundays. I'm not saying you're wrong, nor will I try to force my way of viewing the world/way of thinking onto you. I respect your right to believe what you want. All I ask, is that you give me the same respect in return. IF you think you cannot do that, please feel free to remove yourself from my life. 

This isn't just something that I decided on a whim. I tried to believe, I really did. I went to church faithfully for months with my mom, I read the Bible, everything, but I just can't comprehend, I guess.

The first thing I noticed that really started the questioning thoughts came when I was little, and really hit full force when I was old enough to understand. I didn't, nor do I yet, understand why there is so much pain, suffering, etc. in a world that is supposed to be ruled by an all-loving God, especially when it comes to children. I just don't understand.
"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.[a] 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” -Revelations 21:3-4 (NLT)

So, right here it says that these things are gone forever, but I see them on a daily basis. 

Then as I got older and I could finally grasp what was going on in the LGBT community, and what the religious examples in my life were preaching, I almost lost it. But I held on. 

"8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life  and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil  and your lips from telling lies. 11 Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it." 1 Peter 3: 8-11 (NLT)

This says to search for peace and work to maintain it, but it seemed that all I saw in my own church was the congregation shunning anyone who wasn't like them. It wasn't even just on the homosexual front, but in everything. If they didn't believe exactly as everyone else they were shunned, if they wanted to look at other religions... shunned. There was just no making them happy.
My mom and I switched churches, and I found the same thing. But it just got worse, I think. I now have friends that are part of the LGBT community. Hell, my two best friends are, and this new church gave out pamphlets before the sermon one Sunday about how terrible it was to be part of, or supporters of, this group of people. Doesn't the Bible say to love one another? Well, I've never felt so much hatred in one room.

But the final straw, had to be when someone I know, twisted the teachings of the bible to not only shun my fiancé, though he was committing a sin DAILY. My fiancé and I met in a pretty abnormal way, and many people didn't agree with it. But to have a man spout the bible and his Christian beliefs as his reasoning for not accepting us as his friend any longer, when he was an open/practicing homosexual, really pissed me off. I felt that he was using Christianity just to suit his own agenda."“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others.[a] The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." The bible tells not to judge people, but isn't that exactly what he was doing? He was judging us for our actions, when his actions were those of a "detestable sin" as my bible calls it. 

I know not all Christian believers are like this. I know quite a few on a personal level. But I just don't believe. There's nothing more I need to or want to say about it. Like I said before, all I'm asking is that you don't try to push your beliefs on me, because I have a right to believe how I want.

So on that note! 
Have a nice day! 
-Auni and Baby.

18 Weeks and Counting...

Welp, yesterday started my 18th week. And I realized something. If women were only pregnant for 9 months, this would be my halfway bench mark. However; women carry children for 40 weeks (which would be 10 months), making week 20 my halfway point. Anyways, onto the baby....

Baby Clark is currently about 5 and a half inches long and weighs around 7 ounces (we're slowly but surely getting to the one pound mark, haha). The baby is constantly moving his/her arms and legs, which I have felt a couple of times, but it's not much of feeling... It's like a flutter or gassy feeling, but the movements will get stronger in the coming weeks. The baby's ears are now in their final position, even though they stick out slightly. You can see the baby's blood vessels through his/her skin, and a protective cover of myelin is forming around the baby's nerves. This process will continue through the baby's first year of life.

If the baby is a girl, her fallopian tubes and uterus are in place, if the baby is a boy his genitals are now visible through ultrasound! And Aaron will be seeing the baby on the 5th! And all of my friends, family, and even me... will find out on the 15th! I'm super excited!

So what else has been happening in the last week?
Well, we got the baby's nursery started. The walls have been painted, the crib is up, the bedding is on, and the swing is put together. 

We decided on the yellow and gray, because it works for both genders and the monkey is ADORABLE! Even though you can't tell in the picture, the quilted comforter matches the mobile, in that it's gray and white chevron. The mobile has an elephant, a monkey, and 2 giraffes on it! It's super cute! I don't have a picture of the swing in the nursery, but it's a monkey also! 

I don't have a whole lot more to say, other than that I love Aaron tremendously.

So, everyone have a great week! Stay warm! 

With Love,

-Baby and Auni

A mother and her wishes...

This one is going to be a little bit different. There are going to be some things about the baby, but mostly it's going to be a look into the lovely transformation I've been seeing in myself.

So before I can discuss this transformation, I have to take you back, wayyyy back, to February of 1993.

I was born in January. Around the time I was 5 weeks old (February), my grandmother came to see me and her daughter (my biological mother). When she arrived there was a trash bag sitting on the front porch, and she could hear me screaming through the door. She knocked, but no one answered, so she walked in. When she came in, she found me lying in a bassinet, my diaper was so soaked it was leaking, and my clothes were dirty. I was screaming, probably because my diaper was so gross, but no one knows when I had last been fed. My biological mother, was lying on the couch with a pillow over her face. My grandmother picked me up, changed me, and asked my biological mom why her boyfriend (who was not my biological dad) had not taken out the trash. Her response:

"Oh that's not trash, those are puppies."

Her boyfriend's dog had had puppies, and he killed them. My grandmother took me that day, with my biological mother's permission. A few days later my grandmother went back to her house, me in tow, to pick up some more clothes. My biological mother was getting ready to go to the mall with some of her friends and asked,

"You aren't bringing her back are you?"

Going to the mall, with her friends, was more important than taking care of her daughter. My grandmother said no, got my clothes, and left. When my biological mother found out that she wouldn't be receiving as much in financial aid from the state, her boyfriend's sister and herself showed up at my grandparent's home. They started yelling and screaming, making a scene, so my grandmother called the police. The police said, that unless she had paperwork from an attorney, or could get it by the next day, she had to give me back. 

She was not going to let that happen!

My grandmother contacted her attorney, and did as he said. We stayed the night in a hotel, and he got the paperwork together. With the conditions she found me in, and the issues my biological mom was causing, it was easy for the attorney to see her side. A few months later, I was fully adopted and my grandparents became my parents. Because I was so young, my grandparents became MOM AND DAD. I have never, nor will I ever, call my biological mother my mom. She had me for five weeks of my life, and her boyfriend, her friends, her life was more important than her own child. She was never my mom. Simple.

Now that I'm older, I have asked her why she didn't want me. And I can't eve get a straight answer, and I think that's what pisses me off the most. Every time she's asked, her response is:

"I DON'T KNOW."

How? How can you not know why you didn't want your kid? She has tried to say it was because she couldn't afford it, but she got food stamps, WIC, state aid, plus I got my own state aid, she had a medical card, and my grandparents were willing to help. Not to mention the fit she threw when she didn't receive as much from the state without me. 

It doesn't stop there though. This woman, this idiot, decided it was a good idea to have two more children with this man (who didn't want a child in the first place), and they were also put up for adoption. They were adopted by their biological father's brother, but they now live two and a half hours away. I have two, little, half-sisters, that I barely ever get to see, because this woman who couldn't raise a child to begin with, decided it was a good idea to have more kids. Really?

Needless to say: We do not get along. I know that getting adopted was the best thing to happen to me, and I'm extremely happy that I did. I am so grateful for my parents, that they were willing to take in and raise a child that wasn't theirs. I'm grateful for everything they've done for me, and everything they have gotten me growing up, but I still have some resentment toward my biological mother. I can't, nor do I think I ever will be able to, comprehend how someone could just give up their child because their boyfriend didn't want a child. Nor can I understand why she would have two more children. I can't comprehend how she can still call me her daughter, and think it's perfectly okay. I can't comprehend how she can be so selfish, and rude when we were raised by the same woman who has instilled nothing but kindness into me since I was just a little baby. I just don't understand.

But now, onto my wishes. There will be more explanations of this woman in the middle of this, but now that you know the back story, you may understand a little bit more of why my wishes are the way they are.

My wish: I have told my mom that I do NOT want Tammy (my biological mother) to be at the hospital (in my room) when I'm in labor or after delivering the baby. I also told her, I want Tammy and my child to have little to no contact when the baby comes home.

Not only do Tammy and I not get along, she made it apparent THREE TIMES that she is unfit to raise a child. Not only that, she is very unhygienic. Tammy has a disease called Lupus. For more information visit: http://www.webmd.com/lupus/arthritis-lupus

Because of this disease, she has to have dialysis. Dialysis is where they pull all of her blood from her body, filter it, and put it back in because her kidneys don't work properly. All of the other people that go there are sick in some way, and usually they have weakened immune systems. Because the patients get sick often, Tammy brings a lot of germs into the house. She doesn't like to wash her hands, cover her mouth when she coughs, etc. 

Which brings me to my transformation: I'm only four months along, but I've realized that I've quit doing things in lieu of what I want, and more in lieu of what would be best for my child.

And what's best for my child, is to NOT get sick! Since getting sick would be more likely around Tammy, it's best for my child to take away or minimize that risk.

Now, the title is "A mother and her wishes..." right? Well I was one of the lucky ones. My mom, for the most part, understood why I would want things that way, and was happy to oblige. She's also respected my wish NOT to tell ANYONE the sex of the baby until the baby shower, even though she gets to find out 10 days prior. And she's respected my wishes for a few other things.

But I know people who are not granted that respect. A mother only wishes things because they are WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD, and I honestly think people need to respect those wishes. It's terrible when the wishes are being neglected by the child's other parent or close friends. And because I've seen how hard this is for others, I'm going to tell people RIGHT NOW...

MY WISHES ARE FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF MY CHILD, AND IF YOU CANNOT RESPECT THEM, YOU WILL NOT BE IN MY LIFE! 

Got it? Because, my child will always be first and foremost. ( :

Okay, well on that note.

With Love,
-Baby and Mommy-to-be.

17 Weeks. (:

These posts just keep getting smaller and smaller and smaller. But that's probably because the further along I get, the less the baby has to develop, aside from gaining weight, and getting strong enough to survive outside the womb. So, I have a lot to tell you guys about this time, but we're going to start with how our little one is doing.

So, as the title says I'm 17 weeks along, as of yesterday. This week, our baby's skeleton is changing from cartilage to bone. And the umbilical cord is getting stronger and thicker. Our baby weighs about as much as a turnip now, or around 5 ounces and is around 5 inches long. The baby can move all of his/her joints and his/her sweat glands are starting to form.

I told you... as I get further along there isn't much to report about. /:

Onto the next topic.

Aaron and I got to welcome a new little one into our family, on none other, than my birthday. Aaron's daughter, Marysa, was born on January 14, 2014.

To be honest, Aaron and I have had a crazy relationship, but I don't need to, nor do I feel like, explaining that to the world. All I know, is I will have better pictures when we get them. We already have all of the outfits for all three of his kids to have their pictures done.

Next topic.

After changing my mind, a whopping three times, I have finally picked out the bedding set for the baby. We went from Star Wars, to Finding Nemo, to Lion King, and finally.. I found something at Target and automatically fell in love with it.

It's called Zigs and Zags, and it's absolutely adorable. Though I didn't find the exact same brand, I also found a bumper that matches perfectly, and a lamp shade that I'm like in love with! All I need now is a rug, and possibly a canopy for over the bed (if it's a girl... fingers crossed).

My mom was with us today when I found this, and she loves it too! She wanted to go baby shopping today, but she keeps getting frustrated because we haven't found out the sex of the baby yet. Hahaha.

Regardless, she got her soon-to-be grandchild some cute outfits.

   

 

I was sooooo excited! Then she also got us, a bottle warmer from target that uses water to heat the formula/breast milk (I'm hoping to breast feed). The warmer has a timer that you set, based on how many ounces you'll be feeding the baby. She also got us a spinning, drying rack for the bottles we use. It was pretty nice of her! 

Welp, that about sums up this post. Hope everyone has a nice night, and stays warm!

Happy Early Birthday, Mommy-To-Be!!

Yep, that's right... Mommy-To-Be will be 21 years old, on Tuesday!!! And with her birthday, has come a lot of stress. But before we get into all the issues at hand, let's discuss the fact that Baby Clark is now 16 weeks. (:

Baby Clark is now the size of an avocado, that means he/she measures in at 4.5 inches (crown to rump) and weighs about 3.5 ounces. The baby's head is still getting more erect than it has been, the eyes are still moving to where they will be when the baby is born, and the baby's heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood a day, which will only increase as the baby continues to develop. The baby has started to grow toenails too!

But that's about it for baby development, as it slows down as the baby gets older. So now, onto the other topics.

As some of you may remember, in my first post I said I wasn't writing this blog to say that younger people shouldn't be having children, I was only posting this to show some of the problems that someone may face during their pregnancy.

Well, I've hit another big one!

My dad has been offered a new job. He'll be getting a $9.00 an hour raise. I'm so happy for him, I mean that's awesome. So where's the problem? All of my health insurance comes from my father. His last day will be the 26th of this month (January). He has to work for 30 days at the new company before he'll be able to get insurance from the new company. That means, I'll be without insurance until about March 1st. As most of you know, especially being pregnant, I HAVE to go to the doctor at least once a month. I also have my 20 week ultrasound in that span of time. 

It's pretty scary to think that I have to go to these appointments and will have no insurance to help pay for them. As many of you know, doctor's appointments are expensive. My doctor's appointment alone is $199.00 if the insurance covers nothing.

So now, onto a good note to end my blog post!

At my last appointment, my doctor allowed me to schedule my next ultrasound so that I could do the baby shower, as a gender reveal shower. She also told me I didn't have to wait until week 22, and that I could do it anytime after week 20 started. The lady that did the scheduling was awesome, and worked with me. She let me set up the appointment for the first Friday following the start of my 20th week, and what day does that happen to be? 

FEBRUARY 14TH. THAT'S RIGHT, VALENTINE'S DAY!

Aaron and I decided on what we were doing for the baby shower, well kind of. I picked most of it, but he also knew I wanted to do gender reveal. Because my sister did the whole color in the cake thing less than a month ago, I wanted to do something VERY different. So, lucky daddy-to-be gets to find out the sex on Valentine's day. He's going to go to Von Maur, and pick out an outfit that represents the sex of the baby. He's going to have them wrap the box, and he's going to bring it to the shower so that I can open it. (: And that is how I'm going to find out. My mom is also going to decorate the cake based on the sex of the baby, so that'll be fun for her.

We've decided on most of the prizes, and the games. And we're in the process of deciding on food.

So, hopefully things go as planned!

Anyways, now that I've ended on something good, I'm off to hang out with my baby before I go to church to deliver invites, and then I'm gonna come home and spend some time with him before he heads to work for the night.

One last thing:

Welcome to the family Mr. Trout! (:

15 Weeks. (:

That's right, week 15 starts today, and with it... the illness of my unlucky week 14 is finally disappearing. I'm still coughing, but that's just all the junk in my lungs working its way out. I'm so glad to say that I am feeling better, still some nausea, but the medication helps that. I've had an appetite, and the baby is finally getting all the nutrients he/she could need.

So, what's the baby like this week??

The baby is between 4 and 4 1/2 inches, and weighs between 2 and 3 ounces. That means the baby is the size of a navel orange.

This week, just like the last few weeks, the baby is becoming more human like. The baby's little ears are now placed in their proper location and the baby's eyes are moving to their location. Though the baby's eyes are still fused shut, the baby can now sense light too. The baby's legs are growing so that they are longer than the arms, and now the baby can move all of his/her joints, as well as wiggle fingers and toes. Perhaps the most important development this week, is the start of breathing movements. The baby is moving amniotic fluid through his/her nose and upper respiratory tract to help the air sacs in his/her lungs develop so they are ready for the big world.

I still can't feel the baby kicking or moving, but soon enough. (:

Here's what the baby looks like this week:

Now onto the next topic: The baby shower.

I have to go back to the doctor on Thursday, and I'm trying to pick a date to find out the sex of the baby. But it's so hard! As most of everyone knows, it's going to be a gender reveal shower, so I have a huge decision to make. Do I want to find out at the shower? Or do I want to find out before and just not tell anyone? I'm thinking the first. I wanted it to be a surprise, I honestly didn't want to know. But everyone else does, and as this is our first child, I figured it would be best for everyone. So the baby shower is supposed to be my surprise too. It's so frustrating.

Anyways. (: I'll figure it out.

Have a great day. (: